Expedite My Life

Three auctions ended in the last two days so this morning I’m scrounging around the house for boxes so I can meet my eBay shipping commitments.
When you’re listing an item on eBay there’s a pull-down menu that allows you to select between various shipping options. For some reason I selected “expedited” shipping for one or two of these items. It seemed like an adequately vague description.
“Yeah, I’ll expedite this order. I won’t tell you how I’m going to ship or when to expect it. But by my standards, it will be expedited.”
I just looked up the term “expedite” and it means to do something sooner or more quickly. The question then becomes, “Sooner or more quickly than what?”
It seems that by selecting eBay’s “expedited” shipping option I’ve committed myself to fulfilling these transactions more quickly than normal. To make that true, I’m going to have to slow down in other areas of my life.
The next time I get a cinnamon chip scone and coffee at Panera, I’ll reach for my wallet and pull out my ATM card at a glacial pace. If the people in line behind me yell at me to get a move on I’ll just tell them I’m just fulfilling an eBay shipping requirement.
Yeah, that’ll work.

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